The student responded with:

Outside of physical training, where physical protection is less of an issue (ie. verbal confrontations, a pushy/nasty boss, family stress, etc etc), there are times when the mind/spirit is attacked, and this is what I am referring to when I was talking about mental ukemi.

I understand the question and what seems to be the non-physical nature of it. From training and teaching, especially with small children, I have found it is easier for us to learn to control our bodies at first and then move on to the mind and spirit.

The body mind connection works in both directions. What I talked about before was Derek using his mind to control his body reactions. That takes experience. But you can use your body to control your mind also.

When we have children who get hurt or upset it is very difficult to communicate to them and get them to use their mind to rationalize their pain or emotion. If they are hurt their breathing is often very fast. We will have them try a couple of physical tricks to slow it.

First we have them take a deep breath and hold it for as long as they can. When they finally exhale their physical condition usually has slowed down. If they can’t handle this one we get a candle and have them blow it out like a birthday candle. This again forces them to take a deep breath and exhale, usually calming them down.

The other one we use when they are just grumpy or upset is we have them look up toward the ceiling. This pulls the muscles of the face into a smile and the body and mind react accordingly.

These are simple physical tricks to calm yourself when you are angry. They are a first step to controlling the emotional reaction. And most of these are learned in our physical ukemi. Be aware the next time you get thrown or hit. Are you tensing and hitting the ground hard or are you letting go of the pain or momentum and going with it to escape?

The next step, in my mind, would be to look at your mental reactions and ask why you are choosing to be angry? There is some stimulus, outside or inside, and you are reacting to it. That reaction is a choice. The difficult part is that most of our reaction choices have become habits and we let them run on automatic.

Just like the physical training you have to be aware of your reaction to that stimulus. Are you tensing and arguing more or are you letting go of the anger and frustration to go with it and see an alternative?

I used to have a really bad temper, I know how you feel but now I am aware of the physical signs of my anger, I take a breath to stop them before they go and ask myself why I am reacting the way I am. At that moment I can then choose to react in a different way.

Just some ideas to get things started.